Fear. Feel It. Experience it. Do it anyways.

Let’s go back to the positive intention of fear here, what I mean is fear forces us to focus on areas of our lives which needs our attention, be it a problem in the workplace, a bad relationship which need to be addressed. Most often we let fear stop us from taking the necessary steps to achieve our dreams, goals and passions. Isn’t it true? What if I say, feel the fear, experience it and do it anyway? Do you think you would want to attempt to do this? I have done this so many times in my life and I can be honest here yes, it has not been easy but the results have been amazingly beautiful. To cite once such example. I did quit my corporate job after 15 long years, a steady substantial pay check to start by own Venture. It wasn’t easy, decision wasn’t easy, yes I was scared and even anxious, I had sleepless nights. Not many were happy with my decision. Now when I think of it I have no regrets and this is the best decision I have ever taken for my career. 

I am sharing few of my experiences how I faced it and I am sure it will help you in your journey.

Firstly, we need to understand what are we scared off. Identify that first. Second ask yourself why are you fearing? Is it because you will be out of your comfort zone. Isn’t that quite natural? Whenever we are out of our comfort zone or out of our regular routine it brings some kind of uncertainty in us. Secret here is we can feel fear but still move forward. Unless you don’t attempt how would you even experience it if it’s good or bad. Fear is not going to go away from our lives. Let’s accept and get aware of this fact. Instead acknowledge that fear exists but at the same time don’t let it stop you from doing some great things in life.

Next question is are you willing to be friends with Fear? Did you know most of the good stuff is on the other side of fear. Success lies outside the comfort zone. I am sure you must have heard about this. It’s merely not a saying but it’s true if you are willing to be friends with Fear. By doing this there is a confidence boost. Have you ever experienced it? Personally if I have to give my examples I have come a long way. A girl (ok don’t raise eye brows I am a Women) who had public fear, couldn’t ever think of going on a stage and today I am delivering webinars, workshops in mass volumes. How did I really do that? The only thing I thought was I need to make it happen and I was willing to be terrified and do a faceoff with my Fear. The results are in front of you. I am a successful Trainer and a Coach running my own business. Continuing to do a lot which is outside my comfort zone. Now it’s in my DNA to faceoff with fear and achieve results. I do want to make one point here, most often we are fearing not about the situation we are in but the outcome. As I had said earlier we often associate it to negative outcomes. It’s equally true fears are self-created. For example, I want to speak to my boss for my promotion but I fear he would say no and give me a negative feedback (my personal experience while I was at corporate).

My First Learning what I have learnt from my experiences is that Managing fear is a skill and we have to learn so that we can grow. One important thing to know is when fear takes over our lives it keeps us small and keeps us stuck and can paralyze you. Do you want to? Ask yourself? Or do you want to achieve and break the glass ceiling. 

My Second Learning, instead of not attempting at all break down the risk in smaller chunks and figure a way out to achieve what you want to achieve. For example, if you are given to handle any new project and you fear you don’t have enough skills instead of saying I don’t want to do the project pick up the skills and learn it and eventually master it. This way you will be able to move away from the fears and you will be ready to take up bigger challenges. 

Once someone had said to me 9 years back “Take the Leap” (still haven’t forgotten and I live by that). This was my third learning, Leap of Faith which I took and this was during my corporate days. Quitting a stable job and joining another new firm wasn’t easy because I had to work from home and I was unsure how would I manage as I never before had experienced how it is to work alone, manage all by yourself, working virtually etc. Yes, I was nervous and scared yet took the chance as I knew if I dint act, the opportunity would be lost and I was not willing to. I trusted myself that I would sail through. Today when I look back I am grateful for that experience as it really taught me a lot to handle all by self which I am currently using in my current Venture. I am far more equipped to do it which otherwise I would have possibly struggled. 

My fourth learning from fear is that there are no failures but experiences. Take that chance even though you are terrified and scared. It will definitely land you to shore. Even if you fail the difference is that the next time you start you start with experience and not from the scratch.